This week on the Modestshoppin Movement podcast, listeners are in for a real treat.
Mr. Dave Hollis (yes, THAT Dave Hollis) chatted it up with Brig and Jase -- and you are going to be blown away by the life lessons he shares...
Dave talks about navigating the hardest year of his life, dealing with pain, becoming the person you want to be, and so much more.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, frustrated, fatigued, or discouraged by life (in short, if you are human), then this one’s for you!
(To listen to the full interview, click here.)
“Hope in the future is power in the present”
2020 was no picnic for most of us, but for Dave? Well... you can imagine what it felt like to navigate through a global pandemic AND a high-profile divorce at the same time...
Thankfully, there’s a happy ending to the story: Believe it or not, his “hardest year” was also his “best year.”
These unexpected changes helped him envision something better for his future. He says they brought him “closer to [his] creator” and helped him “develop new habits” to become the healthiest version of himself.
But getting there required a huge mindset shift.
No more toxic positivity. No more sweeping things under the rug. Instead, he learned to strike a balance between authenticity and positivity.
“There’s freedom in owning everything that’s going on. The things in the dark are the things that will keep us from becoming the person you want to become,” he said.
That meant not only owning the truth, but deciding how to react to it in order to take control of the story.
“The way that we story-tell around our hard experiences becomes the truth of our experience,” he said.
“You can believe life is hard and always will be or you can ask, ‘Are there other ways to see this?’”
Deciding that things are happening for you and not to you helps you make the most out of your difficult circumstances.
“My best year didn’t happen in spite of these hard things -- it happened because of them,” he said.
Overcoming those limiting beliefs that hold you back
We’ve all got those negative voices in our heads telling us we can’t do certain things -- and sometimes those voices even come from people we love.
But Dave has a pretty good litmus test for determining whether or not these voices are worth listening to. (Even if your own mother is one of them!)
“Take a look at the things that you believe that are limiting for you and ask, what is the source? Does that source have credibility? And does that source have credibility on this specific thing in my life?” he said.
In Dave’s case, his mom had always told him he couldn’t be a runner because he was too tall -- and tall people couldn’t run.
(In reality, she was worried about him getting hurt, so she projected her fear onto him out of love.)
As his mother, she had credibility. But since she was neither tall nor a runner, she didn’t have credibility in this specific instance.
Dave put her theory to the test -- and proved it wrong. Running has become one of his greatest passions (and a mixture of “therapy and church”).
Aligning your actions with your values
“How do I feel about myself when I’m by myself?”
This is the question Dave asks to make sure he’s being true to his core beliefs.
“When I didn’t have that integrity, when I didn’t create the alignment between who I know I can be or who I’m meant to be and how I’m showing up in my life today, that’s where shame, unfulfillment, lack of motivation, no confidence, most of my fear, rises.”
On the other side of that coin...
“When I’ve got a clear vision of who I want to be and create habits and routines to make progress of who I hope to be every day of my life, then I’m proud, I’m confident, I’m courageous,” said Dave.
Get used to criticism
Okay, people-pleasers. This one’s for you.
According to Dave, a life of impact comes with one guarantee -- and, unfortunately, it’s not a fun one.
“If you are interested in being a light in this world, you have to also be comfortable with a life of criticism.”
Don’t stop creating or putting yourself out there just because you get some negative feedback.
The truth is, you just can’t make everyone happy. So don’t focus on the few that don’t find value from what you provide, Dave says.
Don’t let hustle culture sabotage self-care
In the fast-paced culture of everyday life, sometimes “self-care” is a bit of a buzzword. But Dave’s learned firsthand that the slow moments can be just as productive as the busy ones.
“How important it is to slow down, to put the noise on mute, to sit in silence, to allow yourself to reconnect with your creator, to reconnect with nature, to reconnect with peace, to clear your thoughts and just calm down,” he said.
If you want to make a difference in the world, you have to fill your cup first. Take care of your body and mind so you can reach the destination you’re heading for.
(Dave recommends reading “Stillness is the Key” by Ryan Holiday to fully grasp this concept.)
“You can’t mute your pain without muting your joy”
Life is hard -- and we all have our coping mechanisms for dealing with it.
For Dave, alcohol was the “muting agent” he used to escape the stress and pressures of life, but it also prevented him from growing through those struggles.
“I didn’t like the way that it was keeping me from actually growing. As much as we think our coping mechanisms are anesthetics, they’re not. You can’t mute your pain without muting your joy.”
Of course, when Dave and his wife Rachel Hollis announced their divorce last June, this was put to an extreme test.
“I went back to the coping mechanism (alcohol) because I didn’t know how to process the acute pain that was happening. In doing so, I took what was already a terrible storm and made it a worse storm,” he said.
“The way we react to the things happening in our life can either make them better or make them worse.”
Because no one can stop the storms of life from coming, Dave suggests creating a positive coping mechanism or habit to deal with them preemptively.
For Dave, it meant lacing up his shoes and hitting the pavement. Running helped him cope with his pain and process his emotions while making him feel stronger.
So when those storms come, don’t make it worse with a second storm. Look for something you can reach out and hold onto. You’ll emerge a stronger and better person for having the courage to weather it well.
(And here’s another book recommendation from Mr. Hollis, if you need more help in this area: check out “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg.)
If you aren’t failing, you aren’t growing
Finally, we saved the best for last: FAILURE. (Everyone’s favorite topic!)
Here’s the good news, folks: failure is a good thing. Not only that, but it is ESSENTIAL if you’re hoping to make any type of progress in life, Dave says.
When he made the jump from being a Disney exec to starting up the Hollis Company, there were a lot of failures learning experiences.
Worth it? Ab-so-lute-ly.
“Failure is the richest stream of intel you’ll ever be afforded. … If you are not failing, you will not grow. It is an impossibility.”
Good advice from a man who’s had his fair share of setbacks -- and some pretty big triumphs, too.
Learn more from Dave Hollis
So there you have it, friends! We hope you enjoyed these priceless pearls of wisdom from one of the best in the self-help biz.
To catch more of Dave Hollis’ insights, here’s where you can find him:
- Instagram: @mrdavehollis
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/mrdavehollis
- Rise Together Podcast
- Growthday.com/hollis (he coaches live every Tuesday and Thursday)
- His book: “Get Out of Your Own Way: A Skeptic’s Guide to Growth and Fulfillment”
Thank you again to Dave Hollis, and thank you to each of you in the modest shoppin’ community for your support!
Now get out there and start failing.